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When we first started talking about a website
I demanded a page. My reason was simple. At the time, about
8 months ago a lot of our focus was on how terrible being multiple was,
how it hurt to be different. And I couldn't stand that. I mean
this isnt some damn curse. Its the way of living we have, and a damn
good one too. Not the norm ok, I admit that, but why should that
make it bad. When we joined a new mailing list I grumbled for a while,
it looked to me another one of those lists, where it was all about being
different, about how horrible it was. Ok this one said it wasnt the
light fluffiness of our other lists, but I still expected it to get into
the woe is me shit. Well I will admit publicly I was wrong, and that
doesn't happen that much. The admitting it, rather than actually
being wrong. On this list we found a place to be, to not make excuses
for our opinions and our multiplicity. It was the beginning of the
change in us, the move to where we are proud to be different, proud to
be bizarre.
So now I have a webpage on our site and I
have no idea what to write on it. I could comment on
how I look like a horse in my picture but I wouldnt draw attention to that.
I could say a little about me, but I am wondering how to do that without
it sounding like one of those stupid introduction things. I don't
have a role in this community, there isn't some job or reason for me being
here, other than maybe being the gorgeous one. The reality is I am
just here, I am the person I am because I am, not because of some plan
to keep a first born alive. I hate that shit, I so hate to be asked
what my job or role is. I like to respnd by asking the other person
what their role in their community is. The fazzled look is so fun.
So what do I say about myself, my addiction to cappicinos (even tho I can't
spell them) and methanol cigerettes, but is that not just way to boring.
Then there is my love of fashion but that just gets sad when I have to
deal with the fact we are poor and I dont have my slender 16 year old body
on the outside world. Yes I know, life is tough. I can hear
you all saying ... oh poor thing.
I have always been the most outspoken about
being acknowledged for myself, and when I am sitting drinking something
no one else here would or smoking a brand of cigerettes that others here
would never touch, I get annoyed when people call me someone else, or expect
me to know about school or bdsm. Two things I have no knowledge or
interest in. Is it so hard to understand that I am not just a piece
of someone else but an orignal person within my own right. I am not
subtle, I am not into playing someone else. Its strange when I thought
of this webpage I did not expect to be so grumpy about things, I was just
going to talk about light things, about life and music. And here
I am being overtly political about our multiplicity. Maybe its because
so many seem to think of my as light and shallow. There is so many
aspects to people, and as a person I have many aspects to myself too.