Didn't do a journal last night, was feeling unwell, not so much sick, just not quite right.  But then again that's about as sick as we ever get.  I am sure if we get the Ibola virus we would just be a little off colour.

I know no one wants to hear this, that it is boring them, so I suppose I should just vent it here.  I still can't believe how pathetic those people turned out to be.  I had issues with them, but even I didn't realise that they were that bad.  I know they were pissed at Kat for what she did, the fact she spoke to the person they were spreading rumours about.  So ok, they didn't like it, but their childish behaviour because of that was well, stupid.  Their crap, that silent treatment and their dirty looks.  If they want to tell us we are full of shit fine.  But don't act like a child.  They hurt Kat that night, they had made her feel like scum for months, but that night, their behaviour made her aware of that, so I suppose its a good thing.  But still, these were people that professed friendship, all that shit about listening to us, being their for us.  It was all bullshit, but we brought into it, we hoped for something more.   We let them in only to have then shit on us.  I know Kat was the worse effected by this, her self worth was slowly eaten away.  But then she is like that, so worried about what others think of her, so unable to tell others how they are screwing with her.  I am glad they are out of our life, even if they were the only ones that seemed to want to deal with us as individuals, seems we can't have that anywhere else.

Now the whole bdsm thing has no interest for me, in fact I find it boring and a little stupid.  But I know it is to Kat and a number of others here.  And they almost destroyed that for us, ok so Kat almost let them destroy that.  I know I am just as angry at her for that, for letting other people dictate what is good and what isn't, what she should be like.  It isn't like they were all that wonderful, except in their own minds I suppose.

On the whole people pissing me off rant.  My brother.  First he makes this big dramatic reentry into our life, saying he wanted to be there for us, be a real brother, blah blah blah.  So we hope, we take a risk, but we also didn't want to make the effort but have it as a lie.  So we tell him we are multiple.  The response.  NOTHING.  He didn't even have the balls to say I don't want to deal with you.  He just disappears.  So all that crap about being there, about giving a damn about us was for nothing.  Sure the multiple thing was probably a shock, he might even not believe it, but if he was any type of person he could at least acknowledge it.  Then of course talking to mother about whether we would be there at christmas.  He doesn't even want to see us then, his talk about being there for us to talk to was just that, talk.  Pointless, empty words.  All anyone speaks.