Today is Father's Day, and I rang my father to do the usual happy father's day thing.  Hardly worth it, since Dad, like most fathers isn't known for his conversational skills.  But well I did my daughterly duties.  Mum said that my brother had asked if I would be going home for Christmas.  I told Mum I might have other plans but since it's still so far away.  I have to wonder if my brother doesn't want to be there with I am.  Maybe after reading my letter he doesn't want anything to do with us.  But still I haven't heard a thing from him.  I asked Mum for his email address and when I get it I will write and just ask him bluntly what is going on.  Hell if he doesn't want to know me anymore, he doesn't.  But I would just like to know one way or another.

But one good thing, when she brought up Christmas it started us talking about what we want to do this Christmas.  We are getting some plans, some ideas of making it a special time for us.  Hard to be alone, to have no one to share things with.  But that is the story of our life.  And I think we are getting use to that feeling of aloneness.  We will make it special for us, a day to enjoy, to remember.  So we will be putting stuff away, stockpiling stuff, planning the day.