Lucy, the cat, keeps triggering Piglet out.  So we can all see a big fat cat in our future.  As Lucy cries for food (damn that cat is always hungry) Piglet comes rushing forward, terrified the poor creature is being starved.  And even though there is a plate full of cat biscuits for her, Lucy wants tin food, so Piglet rushes off and piles the plate full.  And since Lucy only eats a little bit and wanders off, we end up feeding the neighbours cat who has learned there if always food here and climbs through the window to help himself.  None of this is really bad, except it is costing us a fortune in cat food.  But whilst Piglet is out taking care that Lucy won't starve she is also wary of her own food needs.  Her constant fear of starvation time makes her binge on anything she can get her hands on, eating til she is almost ready to vomit, then hiding the rest of the food for later.  We have all tried to talk to her about our life now, how there is no need to stockpile food, that no one is going to make us go without food again.  But she doesn't understand, or she can't understand this.  All she can think is maybe tomorrow we will not have food, maybe we will be left hungry again.  So the weight is piling on, and the food bills are growing.  And eating so much and not vomiting means that we are left feeling disgusting and unwell for the rest of the day.

Been doing a lot of thinking again, about our need to hide behind the image of a single person.  It frustrates and irritates us and yet it is so hard to break.  We are hoping we can though.  I mean, there are times when it's essential that we pass as single, but there are also a lot of times when it isn't a necessity.  We worry though, that in showing ourselves others will have a hard time with it, either believing it all to be crazy or play acting, or worse that they will resent us and be hurt by it.  We have lost so many friends it is hard to take a risk that might result in losing more.  But I think the time has come for us to accept our own reality and our own individuality and no longer try to be the facade of one person.  It is little things we can start with, like no longer pretending to be someone or have the same knowledge or interest base of another person.  At the moment most people that know us know, or think of us as Kat.  This has meant we have all had to be her, pretend to know what she does, like what she does, or run and get her anytime someone speaks to us.  This has resulted in her becoming exhausted and the rest of us beginning to be resentful.  In fact Kat has been talking lately of taking a holiday, relinquishing her control of Earthen time.   But then she doesn't feel that is possible if we are to remain in the life we know, in many ways it would mean starting again.  But she also needs to rest more or it will happen whether we want it or not.  But it isn't so much about her, but rather about us showing ourselves, about facing the reality that we are infact multiple rather than single, or separate individuals rather than a bunch of people that are all exactly the same.  We have done it for so long, we present that way because it has become second nature.  It was essential for so long not to be crazy not to draw attention to ourselves.  It was not so much easier, in fact it is exhausting work pretending to know what the conversation is about, or subtly changing it without the other person catching on.  We are just so frustrated, and needing to take a risk about showing ourselves.